How to negotiated Jewelry

Step 1: Prepare

Economists usually refer to the problem of “asymmetric information advantage” during a transaction. In layman’s terms: The party with the most knowledge has the advantage. Even if you consider yourself aggressive or particularly charismatic, you haven’t got a prayer if you can’t talk intelligently about diamonds.


The next thought that pops into your head should be, “how can I possibly gain advantage over a jeweler with professional certifications, education, and 25 years of experience?” You can’t, of course. However, that same thought should compel you to level the playing field as much as reasonably possible. Here are a few good steps:

1. Start with our tutorials, but also check out other tutorials from the Web (search engine) to get multiple perspectives on the issues.

2. Check our consumer price database, and if you can get access, try to get a hold of the Rappaport Diamond Report, which contains a price list that dealers use amongst each other. Be aware, though, that the actual transaction prices vary widely from those published on the “Rap.”

3. Buy one of the books recommended by us on how to purchase diamond rings.

4. If any of your friends has recently gotten engaged — ask for advice!

5. Start visiting nearby jewelers, seeing diamonds under the microscope, and asking lots of questions — but don’t be tempted to buy anything just yet!

It is during this preparation process that you should start to figure out what type of diamond you want (how large? how shiny? which shape?), what type of setting you’d like (solitaire? platinum ring?), and how much you feel comfortable spending.

Step 2: Set Limits

Picture this scenario: It’s an otherwise normal Saturday, and you’re casually strolling down the mall, hand-in-hand with your sweetheart. The glitter of a shiny diamond leaping out of a felt-lined, brightly lit display case lures your attention, and you casually check it out. An hour later, you’ve been set back $10,000 in 240 “easy” payments for the next 20 years. You look at the ring on her hand. It’s a nice ring, but it’s not quite what you wanted. She appears happy, but you know her tastes well. This ring looks kinda funny on her hand — perhaps a little too square, or the diamond might be too large. Then you think about the night job you’ll have to take on. 239 “easy” payments to go!

Welcome to the world of impulse buying. At one point or another, we’ve all succumbed to it — the chocolate bar at the supermarket checkout, or the useless trinket at the mall. As the stakes go up, as they will when you’re in the market for an engagement ring, it becomes more important be disciplined in your decision-making.

1. Decide on your Limits

The most obvious limit you should set is in terms of how much you’d like to spend. First, take a hard look at your financial situation, and assess how you much you can truly afford to spend; second, how much do you feel comfortable spending? You must find a balance between the fact that a diamond ring is a luxury, and the fact that the ring will symbolize your mutual commitment. It is important to make this decision by yourself or optionally with your partner or family, but away from external influences like a jewelry salesperson.

The next parameter of limits you set should involve the ring itself. What is the minimum carat weight acceptable? Clarity? Color? Cut? Many people find that a color rating above “I” and a clarity rating above “SI2″ are quite acceptable, but make those decisions for yourself. Be sure to think about the setting as well when you set your limits.

2. Stick to your Limits

This is a lot harder than it sounds, but it is CRITICAL. After all, you are googly-gaga in love, and the unscrupulous jeweler will take advantage of that by inferring that “the more you spend, the more you love her,” or something to that effect.

If you find yourself being drawn over your limits by a pushy salesperson, just walk away. To help you do that, remember this simple fact: There are over 40,000 jewelers in the United States. There is plenty of selection out there; even if you live in a rural area with few jewelers, you can always road-trip to a nearby city.

Of course, you must be willing to re-assess your limits if you find that you’re consistently unable to obtain the deal you want. However, if you do decide to re-assess your limits, be sure to do it away from the pressures of the salesperson. Remember, you are the customer — you will always be welcomed back later.

Step 3: Close the deal, but keep your Emotions out of it

Here’s an irony: Buying a diamond engagement ring should be one of the most unemotional purchases you ever make. You know about the 4 C’s, you know approximately how much it should cost, and you have firmly set your limits based on the type of ring you want and how much you’re willing to pay for it. Buying the ring should now be as simple as buying a gallon of milk. Or is it?

Here are some of the tactics that salespeople might use to push you past your limits:

The flippant seller – This is the salesperson that screams or is overly emotional/passionate, might get “upset” at you because you’re asking too many questions or have decided not to buy a particular diamond, might bully some of the other employees in the store, etc. Our best advice: Try to deal with someone else in the store — come back when the flippant seller is not at work. This type of person is inherently non-logical and will not address your questions or arguments in a logical way.

The “today only” special – Don’t ever fall for any attempts to introduce a time pressure into your natural buying process. More often than not, the “today only” special will also be available tomorrow — and the next day, and the day after that.

Good cop, bad cop – This is an extremely effective technique used by negotiators across all industries. It involves two salespeople working as a team. First is the “bad cop,” which will deliberately insult you and act overly aggressive toward you. Then, along comes the “good cop”, which tries to befriend you by pretending to act on your behalf and “defending” you from the “bad cop.” As the negotiation progresses, you become more likely to accept the “good cop’s” advice, eventually caving in on the sale. The key to breaking this tactic is to be just as harsh with the good cop as the bad cop.

“I have to talk to my manager” – The person you are negotiating with does not have the authority to close the deal. Similar to the “good cop, bad cop” technique, except the bad cop cannot be seen (and in some cases, might not even exist!). The best way to deal with this tactic is to insist on negotiating only with someone who does have the authority to close the deal, and to walk away if this condition is not met.

Persuading you through your partner – Bring your partner for browsing purposes only, but NEVER to make the actual purchase. The salesperson will make every attempt to upsell you by having her try on progressively more expensive rings, and commenting on just how delightful it looks on her. With your beautiful bride-to-be gazing at you with puppy-dog eyes as you ponder whether to go past your limits, you will undoubtedly cave.

The extras – When discussing price, be sure you ask if the mounting is a separate charge. What about the ring box? Sales tax? All of these extras should be considered. At the same time, do not accept a higher charge for extras you do not want or need. Many jewelry stores will bundle in free inspections, an insurance plan (many of these “free” insurance plans are not worth anything — check the fine print!), cleaning solutions, etc., and expect you to pay substantially more because of their “great service.” Don’t fall for any of that. All you want is a ring, a diamond, and the labor required to attach the diamond to the ring.

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